In The Wake of Matt Lauer...

Matt Lauer was fired today after a complaint about "inappropriate sexual behavior." And it's apparently not the first incident. In the wake of sexual harassment/assaults finally being taken seriously, where will the romance genre land?

Bodice rippers--usually not by choice, "heroes" domineering and controlling female characters...doesn't this sound kinda familiar, fellow romance writers? I mean, I get it, and I've heard it from kingdom come that romance is about fantasy. And the last thing I want to do is ever analyze or sound judgy about another woman's fantasy. Like I've said before, whatever your kink, get it on.

But...but...how to phrase this? Okay, here goes: In light of recent events, could it be time to rethink many of the romance tropes, like the domineering/controlling, sexually inappropriate "hero"? Or am I sounding too preachy?

Treating Women Like Children

I'm not sure why spanking is in so many romance books. Of the books I've read, none feature a woman asking to be spanked. If that's what she's into, then fine by me. But the books I've read and never finished, usually feature a male character "teaching" or "punishing" a woman. So, then where are all the books where women "teach" or "punish" the men? Just curious.

I really wasn't going to start this article talking about spanking, but spanking is the biggest display of a man treating a woman like a child. Why on earth would an adult want to do this to another adult to "punish" them is beyond me. Like I already mentioned, if this is your kink, then so be it. But I'm talking about punishment, as if it's acceptable for a man (who is an adult) to punish another adult. Even judges call their work sentencing. Punishing is no longer acceptable language in most civilized society, but it is in many a romance book for a man to do to a woman.

But that's not even what gets me the angriest. It's the little things. Devil's in the details, they say, and I'd agree. It's the seemingly sweet book where the hero orders the heroine to do something, usually "for her own safety." Because she's an idiot or a child who doesn't know how to keep herself safe? Why would a man order a woman around in the first place? Does he think her mentally unstable? And if so, is ordering her about really the best way to approach a mentally unstable person?

Ordering a heroine about is insidious and ubiquitous and, honestly, sad. It makes me so sad when I read a well-written book and find the hero treating the heroine like she's a child, complete with ordering her about, shaking a finger at her, acting sternly. I love well-written books! But I can't read that. It makes me too sad, where I'd think of the hero and heroine getting a divorce later down the years when she finally realizes she doesn't have to be treated like a child. Yes, sad.

What are some of your pet peeves regarding heroes treating heroines like a child? 

What the H/h?

Actually, I'm not asking what the hell in my subject title. I'm asking what the hell is up with authors and readers of romance calling the hero and heroine the Big H and the Little h? What's up with that?

Okay, confession time: I've only been reading romance books for about a decade. So there was a lot about it I didn't know before I even started writing it--like rapey heroes, for one. When I ran into fellow writers calling the hero an H and the heroine an h, I was taken aback, I have to admit. What's so important for the hero to get capitalized? And why can't it be the other way around?

Oh, but it can't, I was informed, like I was a silly, silly child who had asked why the sky was blue.

But I can. It's my freaking book and my freaking characters. So I call my heroes and heroines protagonists, because they are equal in my books. No one gets capitalized. No one gets reduced down to one letter. No way!

I know it's a small thing--calling the hero and heroine protagonists, but feminism is often about the small things, like being equal in the eyes of society. Oh, wait. That's not so small after all. 😉

What is a Feminist Romance?

This is my brand. As a writer, even before I was schooled how to properly self-edit, I was taught to find my brand. Brand is big. It's me. It's me trying to entice readers to buy me and my books. But what I hadn't put anywhere on my brand is the fact that I'm a feminist. I'd asked a marketer about this word and my brand, and after she'd made a strange face--like I was talking about giving newborns to rabid dogs--I decided not to put the word on my brand.

I never thought much more about it after that talk and look from the marketer. I wasn't sure if it mattered. But, now, after a dearth of reading feminist romance books, after feeling a tad alone and isolated, I'm rethinking that word feminism, specifically what it means to be a feminist romance writer.

Jackie C. Horne has a perfect definition of what it means: • A central love story in

which the characters and/or the author demonstrates a commitment to the political, social, and/or economic equality of the sexes. The main plot centers around individuals falling in love and struggling to make their relationship work in a patriarchal society. A writer can include as many subplots as he/she wants as long as the love story is the main focus of the novel.

• An emotional satisfying and optimistic ending. In a romance, the lovers

who risk and struggle for each other and their relationship are rewarded with social, political, or economic, as well as emotional justice and unconditional love 

Equality of the sexes...falling in love and struggling to make their relationship work in a patriarchal society...optimistic ending...rewarded with social, political, or economic, as well as emotional justice and unconditional love. Wow! That's spot-on! I love this definition and this is what I strive for in every book I write. And what I look for in the books I read.

So this blog will be about my quest to achieve this definition with every book I write. You'll learn a little of the writer's process, specifically the feminist romance writer. You'll learn about the books I like. You'll probably hear an ear-full about the things I'm not fond of within the romance genre, but I'll never badmouth another writer. And I won't allow any commenters to badmouth other writers either. We can dislike, maybe even hate, different tropes, but never the writers.

This is my blog and journey...